When it comes to relationships, it isn’t always smooth sailing. And you'll want to avoid the same problems from happening again. But, what can you do? You ask yourself a question.

When you don’t like something your partner does or says, you tend to react emotionally, visually and verbally to get them to quit what they’re doing. But, your responses can lead to more arguments, disagreements and hurt feelings.

And lashing out at your partner is the wrong approach. Instead of being reactive be reflective. Ask yourself “why?” Why are they acting this way? Why are they feeling this way? Why are they talking this way? The question “why” helps you think about possible reasons for their behavior. When you understand possible causes for the way they’re acting then it’s easier to find solutions. When things are calm then it’s time to chat about ways to handle the problem when it comes up again. And talk about any hurtful behavior that needs to stop regardless of how upset they are.

Share your thoughts with me on Twitter at @blancacobb. Remember to use the hash tag #BlancaOn2. Or, you can find me on my facebook page.

Blanca Cobb is a WFMY News 2 Contributing Editor, body language expert and keynote speaker/corporate trainer who covers nonverbal communication, psychology and behavior. Follow her @blancacobb. The opinions expressed in this article are exclusively hers.