3 Body Language Signs That You’re In the Doghouse
Yesterday was National get out of the doghouse day. You might think it’s a funny sounding holiday, but there’s nothing comical about having problems with your someone special.
We all know the obvious signs of being in the doghouse if your honey yells at you or ignores you. But, what are some subtle signs of anger?
Let's start with hands. When you hold hands your fingers naturally curve and touch your partner's hand. But, when they’re upset or bothered then they can keep their fingers rigid. The less touching can indicate that something’s off.
Another sign that they're upset is by their kisses. Their lips can barely touch yours. Or, you get a kiss at the corner of your mouth. The lip pucker is barely there. You could get a little bite on your lip.
A third sign can be the pressure of their touch. When they're angry, they can squeeze a little tighter or a little harder to release anger. So a swat on your tush can be a little harder. A pinch on the arm or cheek can be a little sharper. All done with a smile on their face.
3 Body Language Signs To Get Out Of The Doghouse
Earlier on the show, we talked about body language signs that can suggest that you’re in the doghouse with your honey. Now, we want to talk about ways you can use body language to get out of the doghouse. Remember that it isn't about being right or wrong, it's about connecting with your partner. When you emotionally connect after an argument then it's easier to solve problems.
Here are three suggestions:
1) Use what we call “body leveraging”, which is positioning yourself slightly lower than your honey to look up at them literally and figuratively. This is a way to show respect when you’re talking about any problems.
2) Touch can be tricky because some people absolutely don’t want to be touched when they’re angry. So proceed with caution. But, a slight touch on their hand or arm while you’re talking through problems or apologizing can be calming. Touch has been shown to reduce cortisol levels (stress hormone) and increase bonding. During tough conversations or disagreements, touch can be soothing.
3) Watch your position. There’s a big difference in chin up (arrogance) vs. head tilted down slightly or at a slight angle. The tilt and angle comes across as vulnerable and non-confrontational.
Blanca Cobb is a WFMY News 2 Contributing Editor, body language expert and keynote speaker/corporate trainer who covers nonverbal communication, psychology and behavior. Follow her @blancacobb. The opinions expressed in this article are exclusively hers.