President Donald Trump's often outspoken first wife, Ivana Trump, has led a relatively quiet life since the election. But now, she's promoting a new book.

Ivana Trump say she still talks to the President about twice a month, but she doesn't like call the White House because First Lady, Melania Trump, is there.

This week, she said, "I don't want to cause any kind of jealousy or something like that because I'm basically first Trump wife. I'm First Lady."

A spokeswoman for the First Lady responded saying in part, Melania Trump "loves living in Washington, DC and is honored by her role as First Lady of the United States. She plans to use her title and role to help children, not sell books." The spokesperson continued, "There is clearly no substance to this statement from an ex. Unfortunately only attention seeking and self-serving noise."

It wasn’t a good idea for Ivana Trump to refer to herself as the First Lady. Being the first wife is factual. Being the First Lady is a fantasy. It doesn’t matter if she was kidding or not, her words were inflammatory and insulting.

Insensitivity and disregard for the impact of your words stirs controversy. Controversy with the new wife and with your former husband.

When Melania Trump's spokeswoman spoke up on her behalf, she drew clear boundaries of what's acceptable behavior and what she'll tolerate. It’s your responsibility to teach people how to treat you.

The Ivana Trump vs. Melania Trump exchange highlights the strained relationships between many ex-wives and new wives. Usually the digs are brought about from negative emotions that ususally don't have anything to do with the ex-wife. It's less threatening to be upset with the new wife than the former husband.

If you’re the new wife, disengage from the ex-wife as much as you can. When you show limited or no emotion and you don't react then the ex-wife doesn't have much to work with. You can't control other's behavior, but you can control the way you respond to situations.

Don’t react emotionally to the ex-wife. What does she have to work with if you don’t react. She’s got nothing. She’ll give up. But, realize there’s an extinction burst. It’ll get worse before it gets better.

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Blanca Cobb is a WFMY News 2 Contributing Editor, body language expert and keynote speaker/corporate trainer who covers nonverbal communication, psychology and behavior. Follow her @blancacobb. The opinions expressed in this article are exclusively hers.