Teens Having Sex At Home: Why Some Parents Allow It

11:42 PM, May 9, 2012   |    comments
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Undated -- Patty Skudlarek told her 18-year-old son that if he wants to have sex, she's not only OK with him having sex in the family home, she actually prefers that he do it there.

"I'm comfortable with it. I'd rather he do it here than somewhere else. "

Patty belileves teens who have sex at home are safer.

"With the kids having sex at home, it's a safer
environment, because, you know, it's clean. And usually the place they keep the condoms are in their bedroom. So then they're close by. And it's just an environment they're familiar with, as opposed to a motel, a car or a park, or wherever they're doing it, these days."

Come to find out,  Patty is not alone. Message boards tell the story of the small but growing number of parents who allow their teenagers to have sex at home.

The web chat caught blogger Heather Blackmore's attention. She posted a blog about a woman who allows her teenage son to have sex with his girlfriend in his bedroom.

People had plenty to say. One blog reader accused the mother of running a 'cheap motel.' Blackmore says that wasn't the parent's intent. 

"I think it was more of the attitude, 'well, kids are
going to do it anyway. Why not make it so that it's in a comfortable, safer environment'."

Many of our News 2 viewers have commented on Facebook. Would you be willing to be part of the conversation? Several parents and teens shared their thoughts on camera.

Ritchie Steinmann says, "I draw the assimilation between sex in the home and drinking. You don't drink in my home. You know, you don't bring home a girl or a boy, and close the door."

Chloe Foreht disagrees and says, "I think that they're really completely different issues. If they're having it outside the home, who knows who they're having it with? You know, it's-- there's a bigger chance, I think, of less safe sex, maybe more different partners."

Another parent, Carolyn Meyer-Wartels adds, "I'm not sure that I personally would feel comfortable being at home knowing that my teenager is having sex in the next room."

And just when you thought all teen-agers would have the same viewpoint.

A male teenager says, "I feel like sex should just be kind of a thing that just happens. Not like, 'Oh, if you do it you have to do there or there.'"

One of the female teenagers said, "I would never wanna do that because I just think it's awkward."

Get this. The female teenagers said having parents open to sex may make it more difficult for teen girls to say 'no' to eager boyfriends.

"If your boyfriend knows or whoever knows that there is a perfectly open available house, I think that takes away one of your big excuses," says one teenager.

Another chimes in, "Like, how do you say no? Like, a lot of times if they're saying, 'Let's do it. Let's do it.' like, 'It's time,' whatever you blame it on your parents. You're like, 'No, I can't. My parents would kill me.' But if that whole thing is gone, like, what do you say?"

As for Patty, she says she's given the matter a lot of thought and that, for her family, she's made the right decision.

"With my son having sex in my house, I'm comfortable with it. Maybe he does want to, maybe he doesn't. But at least he has that option. He knows he can be here to have the sex, and be safe."


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