When it comes to relationships, you want the “honeymoon” phase to last forever. You know, when you spend hours talking and staring into each other’s eyes. And it seems like there is always something to talk about.
But, we all know couples inevitably disagree. And if you’re like most people, you think that’s a bad sign, particularly early in your relationship.
You want to have problems early in your relationship because it tests the relationship – whether it’s strong or weak. It tests your partner – how they handle conflict. Do they ignore problems? And pretend they don’t exist. Or, do they exaggerate the problems? And make a situation worse than what it is? Or, do they can tackle the problem head on?
Look, easy is easy. There’s nothing to question when you both are getting along. But, the way problems are dealt with or not dealt with gives you critical information about the health of your relationship.
Problems and emotions go hand-in-hand. Problems make you feel uneasy. So, during stressful times, does your partner lose their cool - yell, cuss, slam doors, ignore you or blame you. Or, are they calm, levelheaded and accept responsibility for their part in the problem? You want to look for five things: empathy, understanding, compassion, patience and respect during tough times, which are healthy traits in a relationship.
And if you decide to ignore the warning signs then you get what you get. This is a problematic relationship. Know this – the way your partner behaves is a reflection of them, who they are. Remember that you can’t change anyone. So what you see now, is what you’ll get later. And now, early in the relationship is when they’re suppose to be on their best behavior. And if they threaten your relationship or stonewall you during tough times now. Imagine how it’ll be like when you’re married with a shared mortgage and kids.
Blanca Cobb is a WFMY News 2 Contributing Editor, body language expert and keynote speaker/corporate trainer who covers nonverbal communication, psychology and behavior. Follow her @blancacobb. The opinions expressed in this article are exclusively hers.
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