Divorce: How To Have The Talk

Telling Your Spouse That You Want A Divorce

Did you know that January is known as divorce month? This is because many people want until after the holidays to file for divorce. Family law attorneys see a significant increase in business.

 

We all know that nearly one-half of all marriages end in divorce. If you’re considering divorce or if your partner tells you that they want a divorce, what should you do?

 

Before you tell your spouse that you want a divorce, prepare yourself for the conversation. Expect the unexpected because you don't know how your spouse will respond to the news. You can expect disbelief, shock, confusion, anger, sadness and maybe relief or happiness. Speak your truth, list the facts and active listen. If your position is firm you have to stand by it regardless of their response.

 

If your spouse tells you that they want a divorce and you don't, stay as calm as you possibly can. It can be scary to know that your world has just exploded. You’ll probably have a lot of rapid fire thoughts and emotions. Common thoughts are: what’s going to happen to you, the kids, house, finances, etc. For some people, it can be like an out-of-body experience. Know that whatever emotion you're feeling is normal. If you get extremely angry, which is normal, remember that you have to control the expression of your anger. Begging is a common response, but it usually doesn’t get your spouse to change their mind. 

 

All marriages have rough spots from time to time and it's normal to think about getting a divorce. However, don't tell your partner just yet. Take time to process what you’re feeling. Perhaps, with some time your feelings of divorce will subside. But, if you notice that you continue to have thoughts of divorce then it's time to share your feelings with your spouse. But, if you’re leaning more towards staying married, then figure out what’s missing in the marriage and take action to fix the issues. 

 

Share your thoughts with me on Twitter at @blancacobb. Remember to use the hash tag #BlancaOn2. Or, you can find me on my facebook page. Or, shoot me an email at bcobb@wfmy.com. 

 

Blanca Cobb is a body language expert, behavior analyst and keynote speaker/corporate trainer who covers nonverbal communication, psychology and behavior. Follow her @blancacobb. The opinions expressed in this article are exclusively hers.

 

© 2018 WFMY-TV


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