One of the most difficult conversations you can have with your kids is to tell them that you’re getting a divorce. How do you tell your kids that the life that they’ve known is about to drastically change?
Before you talk to your kids about your divorce, think through what you're going to say. Realize that you've had time to think about the divorce. Put yourself in your kid's position and think about what it might feel like to have your world uprooted. When you talk to them, you might want to say something like, "Your dad and I have decided to get a divorce. And this is what it means that your dad and I aren't going to be living together anymore..." The word "divorce" can have different meanings to your kids. So you want to be specific. Keep your explanation simple and direct. It's important that your kids know that the divorce isn't their fault. And there's nothing that they can do to keep you two married.
Your kids can show a whirlwind of emotions such as anger, sadness, confusion, hatred. Don’t try to tell them how to feel. Accept not direct them in how they should feel. Give them physical reassurance if and when they want or need it – hug, kiss, snuggle. Some kids want to be left alone while they think about the news. Check on them from time to time and let them know you're always available to listen. Remember that your kids didn’t ask for the divorce. They have to deal with it.
During the divorce process, there will be times that you don't have the answers. And it's ok. Tell your kids that you'll figure this out together. You'll answer their questions when you have the answers. Also, realize that your kids shouldn't know everything about the divorce because some information is for the adults only.
Above all, be patient with your children, shower them with your love and let them know that you'll take care of them.
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