Bill and Melinda Gates's divorce is the latest high profile split to make headlines, but couples break up every day. For many people, divorce isn't an easy decision to make. Are there any signs you can watch for that your partner might be losing interest? This is what we're talking about today. Specifically, what body language signs might suggest that your relationship is on the rocks and what to do about it.
I've categorized body language signs into three categories: no response, irritation, and disinterest. I've made an acronym, RID, to help you remember them. The "R" stands for no response. No matter what you say or what you do, they don't acknowledge you or your efforts. Essentially, they ignore you. It's as if you don't exist.
The "I" stands for irritation. These are body language signs that indicate that you're bugging or annoying. Examples include: they give you the side-eye, make an exasperated breath, show signs of disgust or contempt on their face.
The "D" stands for disinterest. Here are some examples of body language signs of indifference. When you kiss them, they turn their head so that your lips land on their cheek or side of their face. When they kiss you, their lips don't land on yours. Instead, they land on the corner of your mouth or above or below your lips. Sometimes, they come in for the kiss, but it turns out to be an air kiss. When you hold hands, their fingers are loose or like dead weight in yours.
They tend to look through you and not at you. You might get closer to them, but they pull back slightly. They prefer to keep space between you both, or they twist their body away from you.
If you notice any of these body language signs, try not to be reactive. I know that it can hurt your feelings; instead of responding in kind, monitor and see if it's a pattern of behavior or a one-off situation. Perhaps, they're stressed about something unrelated to you. If you respond in kind, then you can make the situation worse. Try showing your partner through your body language that you're interested and invested in your relationship. Watch how they respond. Also, you can use touch to try to rekindle a connection.
Unfortunately, your attempts to reengage with your partner might not work. This is a harsh reality about relationships that they don't always last. You'll have decisions to make about your relationship. I'd encourage you to talk to your partner about what you're noticing in your relationship and the impact it's having on you. It's important to listen to them and their concerns also. Talk about what you'd like to see different in your relationship. Consider couples' therapy. Make sure that you describe to them what they mean to you. Many times you can focus on the relationship problems without reminding of how you feel about them. If nothing changes, remember that there's a difference between being tolerated vs. being loved in a relationship.