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Reconnecting with your spouse during tough times

Research from the University of Washington says divorce attorney calls go up during the month of January.

Did you know that calls to divorce attorneys increased in January? Researchers at the University of Washington who studied divorce patterns found divorce peaks during January and August. Divorce isn’t an easy process for most families. Let’s talk about ways to reverse this trend by helping you reconnect to your spouse.

Before you can reconnect with your spouse, do an inventory of how you connect and how you don’t connect. Digging deeper into what works and doesn’t will allow you to figure out what’s missing and how to fix it. Answer the following questions to get you started: What types of things do you do together as a couple? What’s your enjoyment level when you do? How often do you have new experiences together? And how does it feel? What your spouse does that makes you feel loved? How do you and your spouse respond to physical affection, time together, doing things for each other? When you feel disconnected, what seems to be the problem?

It’s a great idea to communicate with your spouse about what you notice in your relationship, what you want, how you want to get closer. Ask what they want and how they feel about what’s going on. See eye-to-eye, then be open to what your partner says and suggests. Remember that any tweaks or changes are for you to have a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship. Evolve together as a couple to last.

Anyone can have an average relationship where you do the minimum and take your partner for granted. Why not have an extraordinary marriage? If you want a great marriage, you must be a remarkable spouse. This means that you have to think about the impact of your actions on your spouse before you do anything. Think about what you can do to make your spouse feel loved, special, safe. Do the unexpected, which usually means small things like making the coffee. When you do something for yourself, then do something for them. There can never be enough kindness, thoughtfulness, and communication in your marriage.


Couples can strengthen their relationship during challenging times by balancing out their strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps, one spouse doesn’t crack under pressure, and it’s easier for them to problem solve, and the other spouse tends to focus on the “what ifs.” In this situation, the ‘grace under fire’ spouse can offer more solutions for the couple to talk about. Essentially, step in silently in situations that you know your spouse has difficulty.

During times of stress, it’s not uncommon for you to misperceive your spouse’s intentions. Instead of automatically thinking that something was done on purpose or with bad intent, give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. You’ll be amazed at how much more positive and easier your relationship will be.

Share your thoughts on my Facebook page: Blanca Cobb – Body Language Expert. Write a message on my timeline, and I’ll get back to you. While you’re on my page, I’d appreciate it if you give my page a “like.”

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