GREENSBORO, N.C. — As parents, you know that as your kids get into their teen years, their job is to become more independent. With that independence comes pulling back from you and not confiding as much in you either.
A problem with this is that teens still need you whether realize it or not. It can be frustrating to you, as parents, when your teens shut you out.
Most everyone can attest that the teen years can be turbulent. And teens can spend more time with friends than with family.
Adolescence is a fast-paced stage of development. More independence, which means more experiences where you’re not around. Sure, as a parent you can monitor where your teen goes with GPS, but you might know what they’re doing, who they’re with, what they’re talking about.
Some teens find themselves in situations where they don’t know what to do. Open communication is critical to guide your teens and to keep them safe.
One common complaint that teens tend to have is that their parents don’t understand. Some teens feel that their parents are judgmental and critical. If they feel that you’re not going to get what they’re saying, then they’d rather not talk.
When they talk, listen. Watch your facial expressions to control any negativity. No sighs. No interruptions. No judgments. Ask questions to understand their point of view. Paraphrase what you’re hearing so they know that you’re getting it.
If your teen is already closed down, you can use current events that are in the news. When you talk about it, get your teen's perspective. Don’t judge or criticize if they have a different point of view. The more you accept what your teens' different point of view, the more they’ll feel comfortable talking to you. You can still guide them without criticism.
You can also talk to your teen about a reset. A reset of the way you two talk to each other. Acknowledge that you’ve made mistakes and what changes in your communication you want to make. And make sure you stick to the changes that you agreed to.
Share your thoughts on my Facebook page: Blanca Cobb – Body Language Expert. Write a message on my timeline and I’ll get back to you. While you’re on my page, I’d appreciate it if you give my page a “like.”