GREENSBORO, N.C. - The conversation about bullying is one you need to have with your children - early, and often. From the time they can walk, talk and understand you - experts say, that's when you can tell children, bullies are out there.
“It’s kind of like a weather forecast,” said Dr. Nannette Funderburk, a psychotherapist, “If you are told that it is going to rain, then you know to carry your umbrella the next day. So, we know bullying can happen at some point in our lifetime, so practice what your response is going to be.”
Often, bullying often revolves around confidence, or the lack thereof. Dr. Funderburk says bullies are more likely to target the vulnerable kids, than the ones who speak up and have support.
“Oftentimes the person who is being bullied will feel less than for whatever reason, and the bullies can see that. You can see the child who does not look confident,” she said.
There are red flags that your child might be dealing with a bully, including unexplained injuries, changes in a sleep pattern, feeling sick or faking an illness to stay out of school.
If your child is the bully, they may exhibit more aggressive behavior, get into trouble or written up more, and put the blame on others, while never accepting responsibility for their actions.
Dr. Funderburk says without being too overwhelming or overbearing, you want to express to a child being bullied that they can stand up for themselves, and speak up, before they hit a breaking point.
“[A child being bullied has] to be able to get it out,” she said, “Sometimes when we hush kids away, they are not able to get it out and that leads to what I call the volcano effect. Help your child recognize that he or she can advocate for himself or herself.
Dr. Funderburk says, no matter the child, it's about paying attention to the changes, subtle or obvious - letting bullies know that there are consequences to their actions, and letting victims know, that they can take back the power.
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