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It's Over: Telling your spouse you want a divorce

Telling your spouse that you want a divorce isn't easy. Blanca Cobb shares tips.

When January rolls in, many couples file for divorce. They tend to stay together during the holidays, but once the new year rolls in then they're out. Before you tell your partner that you want a divorce, make sure that it's what you want. If you're on the fence about staying or leaving, it's best to keep that to yourself because you're planting seeds of doubt in your spouse's mind. And doubt can be cause more problems in your marriage. 

If you're sure that you want out then approach your partner delicately. This means that you're sensitive to how they might feel. Make sure not to blame because that can start an argument. There's no one way to tell your spouse that you want a divorce. Here's a suggestion. You can say something like, "We've been struggling for a while to make our marriage work. And it isn't working. I want a divorce." Stick to the facts. Don't debate or argue about your decision. What's the point of arguing about your decision. If anything, it can help validate your point to divorce.

If your spouse doesn't want a divorce then things can get a little sticky. You want to be empathetic, but hold strong. Your decision is non-negotiable. Your spouse might try to convince you otherwise. They might say that you two should go to therapy or they'll change their ways. Usually, there's fear beneath their response. If you can address their fear then it might make the divorce a little easier for them.

Share your thoughts on my Facebook page: Blanca Cobb-Body Language Expert. While you're on my page, give it a "like". Write a message on my timeline and I'll get back to you.