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How to find the good

It's easy to focus on the negative. Blanca Cobb explains why you should find the good.

There's a lot of negativity in the world right now. The pandemic can compound that news and make it easy to dwell on the bad and not the good. People tend to focus on the negative because it registers stronger in your mind than the positive. Negative actions offend, hurt and anger. The emotions are more salient than the positive. This part of the reason that Dr. John Gottman, relationship researcher, says that for every one negative interaction, you need to have five positive to cancel out the negative. 

Instead of focusing on the negative, I challenge you to find the good. You have to make yourself focus on the good in situations and interactions. Instead of judging, ask yourself what else could be going on. What are different reasons for the way someone is acting. If the relationship is over, what can you learn from it? What was the good that came out of the time together? 

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When you see body language that you perceive as negative then you act on it. For example, if you see someone crossing their arms, you make the automatic assumption that the person is closed off, not interested, or angry. This may not be true. Ask yourself, what else could be happening? Perhaps, they're cold. Perhaps, it's their go-to move. Perhaps, they're feeling a little bit nervous. 

Finding the good will give you a  more positive mindset, which is healthy. 

Share your thoughts on my Facebook page: Blanca Cobb - Body Language Expert. Write a message on my timeline and I'll get back to you. While you're on my page, I'd appreciate it if you give it a like.