GREENSBORO, N.C. — WFMY News 2 virtually met with Jaren Doby, MSW, JCSW. He's a therapist with Novant Health.
Doby addressed a multitude of questions regarding mental health after the Derek Chauvin verdict was announced. He noted that there are varied emotions based on everyone's own experiences and trauma.
Q: How do you talk to your kids about George Floyd, the Chauvin trial, police and racial injustices?
A: Of course communication and expressing our feelings in children, young adults and even adults looks different for everyone. Not everyone wants to talk about it. There are some kids, a lot of kids I encounter that would rather write about it, draw about it, so it's about knowing what that communication style looks like. Addressing trauma, addressing societal and racial issues is not one-size-fits-all for every household so we have to be mindful of how that communications works within your household. It's just important that everyone continues to have these conversations. To hide from it, to remain silent won't be a benefit to anybody.
Q: Can you give an example of how to initiate that conversation?
A: Be able to ask those questions: 'are you familiar with who George Floyd is? Have you heard the results of the trial as to what happened with the police officer that took his life?' It's important to explore what it is that children already know and take opportunities to fill in the gaps. Then ask them follow ups like 'how does that make you feel?'
Q: How can you unwind, if only for a little, after a year of tension, anxiety, and fear leading up to the verdict?
A: I like to tell folks to literally stick to the basics. All of us know what we would do right now if our bosses logged on to this call and said you guys have the rest of the day off. We know exactly where we would go and exactly what it is we would do, correct? It's important to make sure you engage in things that naturally help you to relax, decrease stress and put a smile on your face.
Q: How can you protect your peace but still stay informed?
A: You have to be able to know when you've had enough for the day and be able just to back off, right? Take a break, do things naturally, utilize your natural coping skills.
Q: I've spoken to many who are not necessarily relieved because there's more work to be done. What would you say to them?
A: Acknowledge those feelings exist. They are there. Don't ignore them. Don't bottle them up because that can do more harm than good. There will be some healing for some folks. For others, it's not even the tip of the iceberg when it comes to healing. It's something we all need to bond together but it takes more than just the black community to be able to do that. Everyone asks me all the time as a therapist, as a black man, as an active community member: 'how do we solve this?' It starts with being able to lock arms with people who look like you, and people that do not look like you.
Q: Is this an example of collective trauma/grief?
A: People are hurting. Black people are hurting and it’s important instead of ignoring the fact that a knife has been removed or pulled out slightly there’s still a wound there that needs to heal in order for people to be able to heal. Please, please take an opportunity to check on those who this is actually affecting in some way or another because through togetherness, through that genuine human common decency we’ll be able to see more effective changes.