GREENSBORO, N.C. — Today is National Sibling Day. When you’re young, you spend a lot of time with your brother or sister because you live in the same home. We hear stories of siblings who are best friends and other siblings who constantly fight and don’t get along. What’s behind the love-hate relationship that some siblings tend to have? Siblings have a unique, close, and competitive relationship for their parent’s attention, time, and approval. Children want to matter to their parents; if they don’t because of their siblings, they tend to feel resentment.
Parents’ behaviors can contribute to the intense sibling relationship.
The relationship between siblings can worsen if parents play favorites. If one sibling has different rules like staying up later, or if parents give more resources to one sibling or make excuses for one sibling’s misbehavior are different examples of favoritism. Some parents might complain about one child to their siblings, which sets the example of talking badly about siblings.
When kids are young and still live at home, parents can be instrumental in helping their friends maintain a closeness. Here are a few ideas. Parents can help guide their children in resolving disagreements by being impartial referees. Encourage children to talk positively about their siblings. Have them work on activities that promote planning, collaboration, and cooperation, such as raking the leaves in the yard or washing dishes. Encourage siblings to have fun together, whether playing games or working on a puzzle. Once a week, have your child tell you what their sibling has done that was thoughtful or kind. The point is to teach children to think positively about their siblings. Lastly, make sure to have consequences for inappropriate behavior toward each other. Siblings shouldn’t be allowed to treat each other disrespectfully.